ASHTRAYCIDE

The government had a plan

To wipe us ashtrays out

“ Let’s implement a Smoking Ban "

In Parliament they shout



July the First, in one foul swoop

I’m instantly redundant

The tables now stand empty

Where once we were abundant



I miss the warmth of fag ends

And matches burning down

I miss the stubby fingers

All nicotine and brown



Sometimes we’d get stolen

From cafes, clubs, and bars

Taken home in handbags

Kidnapped in their cars



Now I’m used in bedrooms

For loose change from their pockets

Or even worse, for holding up

A bank of broken sockets



I miss the smokey atmosphere

The laughter and the glee

Sometimes I’d get a little drunk

If beer was spilled in me



The sounds of “ Pass The Ashtray “

We’ll never hear again

This phrase should be our epitaph

Let history not be swain



The people of the future

Will not know we existed

A little glass receptacle

Now bitter and all twisted



Thousands crushed and broken

Recycled, born anew

Wiped out in a single day

To please The Chosen Few



So I’m a worried ashtray

Waiting for my fate

Unless they pinch another one

And then I’ll have a mate



So think of me, when in the pub

And wonder where I’ve gone

Sod the other ashtrays

Just “ FREE THE ASHTRAY ONE “